I didn't have the birth I had planned and it was perfect.

I often read and hear about mothers who have c- sections instead of their planned natural birth and vaginal birth. I know it's a sensitive subject so I will tread lightly. I intended to share my perspective about these things because that was my intention before I was pregnant.

I understand the disappointment. I do.
Not only did I have a C- section instead of a natural water birth but my daughter also died. I get the right to complain and moan all I want right? It's funny, I don't want to. I felt the disappointment and anger and I moved on very quickly.

My perspective is "stop"! Stop feeling hurt, betrayed, cheated, or tricked into the wrong birth. Don't hold onto it. Feel it and move on. That's what I do every day.
If you have a child stop for a moment and take all that energy and effort and put love in it's place and send it to your child. You have a child, you are a parent.
I would have let the surgeons amputate my legs if only I could have a living child. But that's not our story.

Feel gratitude for the people who gave you a child and got you both safely in a recovery room.
Feel peace that you have a child. Even if they have passed, you can have them in your heart.
Feel LOVE.

Even without my child I still feel love. I feel love for every person that helped cut me open and get my baby out even though she died. I feel love for the doctors, that tried longer than they were supposed to, to save my baby. It's hard to feel anger when you feel love. Kinda impossible.
I understand that my daughter had as much to do with her birth as I did. It's our story. I honor her and I feel love for her.

It was perfect because it's our story, it's her life and it's perfect for her. It's not always about how we do things, it's what we do.

Remember that it's not just about us mother's anymore, it's about our children. What kind of example are we? Even though my daughter's body didn't live, I want to live as the best parent I can be.